The Tour Escort

A fabulous ice sculpture.

I worked - off and on - for many years in tourism under many guises.  Hotel Rep, Tour Guide, Tour Leader etc but the best one was Escort.  Okay for a man but.....  Thank goodness it was for American tourists and not British.  (For those not in the know, in the UK a female Escort is a euphemism for a high class prostitute - and that I definitely was not). 

The first job I did for the American tour company was to bring a group of tourists from the States to London for a few days, then on a transatlantic cruise back to Florida.

The problems began at Heathrow Airport.  The norm is for meeters and greeters to stand somewhere near to where their guests will be exiting and, of course, holding a big noticeboard.  I’m sure you’ve all seen them.  In this instance, no obvious meeter and greeter (M&G).  I asked my group to stay together while I went on a search.  Information pointed out that there was a special area for Ms&Gs - and small area away from the exit with a miniscule sign in the ceiling.  Yeah, right.  I eventually found the gentleman I was looking for - more by accident than design.  Instead of a prominent notice with the name of our agency on it, he had a small sign with the name of HIS agency - which we didn’t know.

I took him to the group where he explained that he would now go to find the coaches.  Coaches?  Apparently one for us and one for the luggage.  Don’t ask.  Of course at least one lady was loud in declaiming that she would not be separated from her luggage.  Anyway, he trotted off.  And we waited and waited and waited.

Eventually I led them outside to the pavement on the basis that the coach would turn up at some point.  After about fifteen minutes I went in search of a telephone to call my ‘emergency’ number.  Good job I speak Spanish - I got through to someone in Spain.  Obviously not the ‘emergency’ number. 

After about half-an-hour the coach arrived.  It had not been in the coach park but had been circling the airport roads.  Apparently the driver hadn’t known she was supposed to go into the coach park.

With great relief we piled into the coach - together with our luggage.  No, there wasn’t a second coach.  We were all so relieved at this stage that we were able to turn the whole thing into a joke.

Would you be surprised if I told you that neither the driver not the M&G chap knew the exactly location of the hotel.  They had a vague idea - we found it after a small circular tour.

As the worker bee I was allocated the most miniscule room I have ever been in - honestly.  As a single traveller I’ve had quite a few of those.  A loo and wash basin, no wardrobe and barely room for my suitcase and hand baggage.  Single bed, six inches, 12 inch wide table.  That was the width of the room!  Thank goodness I wasn’t planning to do anything other than sleep in it but it would have been nice to hang up my dresses.

My problems didn’t end there.  On my return to the reception area panic reigned.  One gentleman with breathing problems was missing a piece of his equipment.  All of it kept in a special case which they had used as hand baggage.  I discovered two telephone numbers on their instructions sheet.  One in England and the other in America.  Mrs. insisted on telephoning the American number on the basis that they would know what she was talking about.  It didn’t matter that, even though I explained it to her, the US company would probably contact the UK company.  The replacement part arrived a few days later as we were waiting to board the coach to take us to the cruise ship.  Everyone heaved a sigh of relief.

Where we all had an enjoyable cruise.

I was especially glad to get on board where for the length of the cruise I could relax and enjoy myself.  All I had to worry about on arrival in Florida was getting them onto their coach.

Did I enjoy myself?  Of course I did.  Who wouldn’t enjoy a free cruise?  Mind you I am addicted to them, having once worked on Royal Caribbean ships.

TIPS:

Midnight Buffet

If you have any medical equipment double and triple check to make sure you have every piece, and if it is unpacked at Security, double check that everything is back in the case/bag.  And, if you do leave anything behind - call the telephone number for the country you are in!  The replacement part will reach you much more quickly.

Medications:  make sure you have them and your prescription in your hand luggage.